Listening to the World

My Babygirl has gone to be with Robbie, Mom, Warlock and the crew in God's arms. She was matted, thin and sick, her meow changed last night and she stopped eating and drank everything in sight. I love her so much and now I had to let her go, everyone kept offering to let me wait while she was put to sleep but I am her mom and I was with her for everything from the miscarriage to the sepsis and now to this. I held her while that sent her to God...Oh Lord that was one of the Hardest things I have ever done but the hardest by far was leaving her there for them to take care of afterwards. I just wanted to grab her and run away and pretend it never happened...I just lost my sister and now this. I feel like I am just going to fly apart and just it HURTS so BAD. Lord see me through this please.