seliki: (Yoda)
2016-01-21 11:28 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Well I haven't posted here in a while...not quite sure what to say. Big storm coming, oh no oh no...really folks we live in the Northeast snow happens. *sigh* Didn't go to work because I caught some damn bug and boy am I pissed it should have waited until tomorrow than I had a good reason not to go to work. Anyhoo just posting because I can and haven't and hate an empty space. lol
seliki: (Enterprise)
2013-02-26 08:16 pm
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(no subject)

Well have the youngest niece over for the night, school was cancelled because of the ice storm and I came home early. I didn't want to be stuck in Cumberland because of no way to get home. There is a 5 degree difference in what Cumberland gets and what it is where I live and a lot of times that makes all the difference in weather matters.
Tessa *the niece* is in home ec and is cooking so she made Chili with Grandma Mary and she and I made red velvet cake. Not my favorite but everyone else in the house enjoyed it so I will make brownies tomorrow and be happy. Nothing earth shattering has happened lately *Thank God!!!* We are preparing to have the two oldest niece stay until the end of the year to finish in their home school and the rest of the family is moving. This should be interesting with two teens and my patience and the roommates paranoia it should be amusing.
seliki: (Heaven)
2012-12-14 07:18 pm
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(no subject)

I am horrified, angry and grieving for those poor babies, yes I mean babies. My heart goes out to Sandy Hook and I ask God to hold them and comfort them in their grief and rage and shock. We as a people cannot image someone walking into an elementary school and doing this because it is suppost to be a safe place...and yet it happened. To the media and the politicians and the people who feel that gun control is the issue...it isn't, the issue is that anyone can walk into our schools and SHOOT OUR CHILDREN!!!! This isn't about how many gun laws can be passed or how we can stop mentally ill people from getting guns. Unless they have a big M on their forehead or confess: "By the way I'm having Mommy or Daddy issues and want to kill people." this isn't going to ever happen. I go to work with 2 locked doors between me and the world with someone who guards it everyday. Why don't we have something like this for our most precious gifts...THINK ABOUT IT!! I want to scream at these people who are talking about gun control, this is about security for our children and our future. This is the time to come together and help these poor people who have lost their whole world, please we need to stop this and THINK not REACT!
seliki: (Sadness)
2012-08-08 09:39 pm
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Alone

I am finally alone in my house, no room mate (love her but need time away), no kids (love them forever), no friends (love them too). I get to do all the raging, grieving and snacking that I normally don't do in front of ANYONE. I am expected to be altogether all the time now for everyone, I just lost my sister and now my beautiful girl.

I have a hank of fur from Tam that she lost sometime ago and have a habit of picking them up and throwing them away...didn't this time just snugged it away. I am so glad that I did, I sobbed when I found it and it is so comforting to have something that says Tam. It might seem silly but I needed this to ground me to the fact that my lovely cat isn't coming home. She isn't at the vets or a friends or my sister's house...she is gone. I miss her so much.


RAINBOW BRIDGE

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food and water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they miss someone very special to them; who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. The bright eyes are intent; the eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to break away from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. YOU have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

THEN YOU CROSS RAINBOW BRIDGE TOGETHER...
seliki: (Sadness)
2012-07-25 02:08 pm
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Tamarisk

My Babygirl has gone to be with Robbie, Mom, Warlock and the crew in God's arms. She was matted, thin and sick, her meow changed last night and she stopped eating and drank everything in sight. I love her so much and now I had to let her go, everyone kept offering to let me wait while she was put to sleep but I am her mom and I was with her for everything from the miscarriage to the sepsis and now to this. I held her while that sent her to God...Oh Lord that was one of the Hardest things I have ever done but the hardest by far was leaving her there for them to take care of afterwards. I just wanted to grab her and run away and pretend it never happened...I just lost my sister and now this. I feel like I am just going to fly apart and just it HURTS so BAD. Lord see me through this please.
seliki: (laughter)
2012-07-22 07:46 pm
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Smoke Alarms and Cats

There is nothing quite like having the smoke alarm at the top of the stairs go off because it was bumped by the cat. How did this happen you asked, well let me tell you. I have stacked the alarms at the top of the stairs until we have time to put them up on the walls...well I think you can see what happened.

I have never seen my mainecoon Beau (short for Beauregard) run quite so fast in a long time. What was even better was they are under an open window, I think the neighbors know something happened between the screech of the alarm and the screech of the Seliki trying to turn the Damn Thing OFF!!!!
seliki: (introspective Daniel)
2012-07-18 08:58 pm
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Bad Day

Ok some days are better than others and then there are the days that suck so bad that I spend most of them in the corner crying. I never cried this much when my mom died but I expected to outlive her, I think that is the difference. I never expected to outlive Robbie, this is actually the nightmare I have lived with my whole life...outliving my sister.

Anyone who have younger sibs knows what I am talking about..the horror of knowing that they are gone!! You failed in taking care of your sister/brother like you have been told to do your whole life. Older Sibs you know exactly what I mean, you probably say it to your own kids, "take care of your sister/brother".

My sister had bronchitis every year from the time she was 2 years old, when the temp dropped below 50 degrees the hospital would have a room open in the peds unit for her. I was used to watching her and telling when she was having problems breathing, watching when she needed help. Not that the little snotwad would tell me but that was my job...to keep her breathing until help got there. Boy howdy did that not happen this time and all I could do was hold the kids and keep the screaming internal. I hate sounding like a pity party but it has to come out somehow and this is it. I get the live my worse nightmare, its hard, it hurts and I need a whole lot of time to get my mind wrapped around this. To be continued...
seliki: (Stormy Lighthouse)
2012-07-12 09:00 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Well I started out in one dept at work and as usual ended up in another doing something completely different from what I was doing. This is interesting and they have a lot of work to do and it is consistent...WOO HOO!!! No lay offs from here baby I love it.

I'm going to a nurse practitioner tomorrow for the first time in about 5 years...a little daunting but I promised that I would go. I need some stuff looked at and I have to be here for the girls, I can't let this shit go because I hate doctors and the medical trade in all. Sorry if any docs or nurses or so forth out there reading I mean no offense.

I have just had a horrible experiences with the medical profession and really would like someone who didn't treat me like a moron or brush everything I say or ask to one side. The last doc I went to was rude and condescending...I don't care what my roomie said he was shit! I told him what I was asking about and he poo pooed me...really asshole that was just so uncalled for. I am now trying this again...sigh I hate it and if it weren't for the girls they could all go to hell in a hand basket and I would take my chances but I can't`.

I just want to go in and get it over with and go back to work...I know that it probably won't be that easy I have several issues that the family and *quietly to myself* I am worried about. I have a swollen right leg from the knee down, the left is not that bad and I'm pretty sure I have a hernia around my diaphragm. The muscle under your lungs for the perverts out there not down in my genitalia...gits...anyhoo and a few other things that need checked. I see needles in my future...damn it!!! I am needle phobic and I hate to pee in a cup it is always such a mess. Well we'll see what she has to say and I will update as it happens, back to my regularly scheduled life, such as it is. Robbie you so owe me big time for this...Love you and miss you.
seliki: (Stormy Lighthouse)
2012-06-20 08:18 pm
Entry tags:

Thinking...

Alright went back to a former employer, I'm working through a temp agency right now and jobs are sparse. I enjoy this employer a lot, all I have to do is data entry, I can spend the whole day typing, snacking and listening to my tunes in a quiet and stress free environment.
I was called back this past Friday and was glad of it I need to get busy outside of the house and my family. These people are wonderful and several walked up to me and gave me hugs right off the bat and inquired on how I was doing. I told the truth, I was doing fine for the moment. If someone tells you that they are doing fine and seem to believe it after a close loved one dies...believe them but know it is only for that moment, that hour or that day. It takes time and contrary to belief time does heal, somewhat, kinda. You heal but it comes with a great big damn scar, it stretches and itches and aches...a lot. Every death gives you a new one, some small, some...well Titanic size comes to mind. I have 2 of those, one is recent and one is from 1995 and looks like a mom with black hair, green hazel eyes and a big loving smile.

Ouch that one hurts, but the new one...its fake red hair but she loved it, green hazel eyes *got those from mom* a long stride and another huge, beautiful, cocky smile.

Both her girls got the smile, one has her eyes and the other has sky blue and I don't know what I would do without them. I feel like I'm being silly them I remember a friend telling me to grieve, not to bottle it up, my sister is gone and I need to get that off my chest. Thanks pal I needed that.
seliki: (Eeyore)
2012-06-10 12:52 pm
Entry tags:

One Week

Alright one week ago my sister passed and at this point I'm still a little numb. We are moving on and living...it's hard. I keep thinking of all this stuff that I need to ask Robbie and tell her and then it hits me...she's gone and I have no one to talk to. I can't talk to the girls they have their own stuff and I can't talk to them about the things I talked to their mom about, it's sisterly stuff. I can't talk to my room mate because some of it is about her, huff, everyone needs someone to talk to and Rob was mine. I have a feeling that I will be doing a lot of blogging here now. I am being handled with kid gloves and told to be strong for the girls...what the hell do they think I'm doing twiddling my thumbs?!?!

My brother-in-law is being a dick and former bro-in-law has grown up and yes they are currently working together but I don't think that will be working for much longer. I refuse to be the referee they are adults and need to work this crap out between them. I have bullied and pushed and got the funeral arranged and food taking care of, Mary has kicked ass on the keeping us focused front. We all took a break yesterday and didn't get together in the same house like we have all week, it was a relief.
seliki: (Eeyore)
2012-06-09 08:58 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Ok buried Robbie yesterday, I had to remind myself that we are like caterpillars and leave behind chrysalis's for what God has ready for us forever. It still hurt and didn't make a damn bit of difference but I had to hold it together for her girls. She had been an EMT (emergency medical technician) for over 20 years and was darn proud of it. When a emergency response personnel dies they have what is called last call over the air to all stations to know that one of their own had passed to God...Oh Lord we all lost it. That made it real for so many of us, now we have to get on with the living without her...what am I going to do without my best friend and confidant?
seliki: (Eeyore)
2012-06-03 05:25 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Oh God Oh God...my sister...my sister is dead, nobody should outlive their little sister!! At 11:30 this morning I became the last in my immediate family left alive, first mom and now Robbie and I'm alone. I have my nieces and family and friends but she was my little sister. I could talk to her about anything and always everything and now she's gone...I have a hole in my soul that will never be filled again and it's the size of my sister and it hurts and aches and screams!! I wasn't there to be with her and I know the first thing that she would want is for me to be with the girls but that doesn't make it hurt any more or feel anymore empty or that I failed her. I know this will pass but it will be a long time coming before that happens.
seliki: (Kirk)
2012-05-31 02:56 pm
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Grandma

Well Grandma had a colonoscopy and nothing much seems to have come from it I have spent some time here with her until she gets over it. I hate being here sometimes she has the house all closed up and I get so claustrophobic!!!! Don't get me wrong I love my Grandma I just hate the house...huff...oh well I'll get over it and will be going home sometime today.
seliki: (Stormy Lighthouse)
2012-04-01 03:46 pm
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Workin...not

Well I started a job through a temp agency about 1 1/2 months ago. I was really excited because it was imputing info into a main frame for an insurance agency and all we had to do was type. We can listen to music and no phone calls all we have to do is type...this is awesome, my blood pressure has never been so low and I loved my job. Unfortunately we did our job too well and the assignment was ended...damn it!!!!
We were told that the boss praised us up and down and will call us back when there is more work...I want my job back!!!! I was just getting to the point where I was remembering who people were and getting comfy spots to call Grandma during lunch. I was getting into a routine...and now its gone...I hope I get called back or called for something similar because it was kicking. Oh Well live and learn and move on something will come along...I hope soon I like my paycheck.
seliki: (clue)
2011-10-12 02:47 pm
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Other furry family



This my darlings is Spike or Spikey depending on his and my mood. He is a rescue cat, our neighbor up the street died and he was her's. She had a heart attack and he was trying to wake her up when EMS broke through the door, he was startled to say the least and ran out of the house. He was caught by one of the granddaughters and brought to us when they decided to put him down. We offered to keep him until we could find a new home for him. He has to live in the mother-in-law apartment on the back of the house because he has Feline Infectious Leukemia either from before he came into his last home or from being infected between his old home and ours. He is very happy and has a low MEOW...he kinda reminds me of how Lincoln would sound, very low and formal. He loves to have his belly rubbed but you have to be careful about that because he still has the Ginsu knives attached to his front paws.







This is Beau or Beauregard when he has done something that is bad. He is a 9 year old Maine Coone and is so naughty. He is very dominant and doesn't get along with Tam or Torry because he wants to be boss and neither of the girls will put up with his crap. He is so big 19+ pounds and sees Tam as prey and she runs from him. He stays upstairs in my room and has time down in the rest of the house when the girls are in my roomie's room. He is very curious and loves to nose around and get into stuff that he isn't suppost to. He gets me up in the morning by sticking his whiskers up my nose!!
seliki: (Flamin)
2011-09-28 12:44 am
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Furious

Well I have given it time to simmer and not boil any longer and can say with a clear mind and heart that I loved my job and most of the people I worked for. The management on the other hand I wouldn't waste the time it took to dump the bucket if they were burnin'. I'm tellin' ya kids I hate them with a fiery passion of a thousand suns...Red Giants and all.

I was ganged up on and ambushed and fired with no way to dispute or argue or give my side of the story. I have had my say with UIB and am awaiting the results while looking for another job. I had 6 years with them and they did this for something I didn't even do...I was so disappointed and upset with my boss because not only did they do this but they questioned my integrity as a person. I have never lied to my boss, if I did something wrong I took my lumps and moved on. What was done was underhanded and wrong but truth be told I was waiting for them to look for an excuse to get rid of me which is sad. I look on this as a learning experience to move forward with...maybe to find something better I hope.
seliki: (Kirk)
2011-09-02 10:58 pm
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seliki: (Yoda)
2011-04-29 10:04 pm
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Sissy's Day

This is the Day of my Sister's Birth @ 3:30 this afternoon, I have gotten the blessed one:

One - Blue Eeyore shirt
One - Magenta Eeyore shirt with really weird markings in the background
One - Kindle cover with light

I am really glad to have my sissy in my life...even if I couldn't talk the Santa into a trade for a pony when she was 8 months. I wouldn't have my nieces *insert evil laughter here*
seliki: (Eeyore)
2011-04-11 07:18 pm
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Boo Boo

Bye Bye Boo Boo I love you and will miss you so much, but you aren't hurting anymore. I know you were saying goodbye when you crawled into my arms and refused to leave while we were playing with the girls. Your hips hurt and you couldn't clean like you wanted too. I know that you weren't enjoying your food or treat and couldn't even chase Tam anymore. Your job was to greet everyone at the door and protect us from the Beau Monster upstairs and you couldn't. Fly high my Boo Kitty and have fun.



Don't worry about us we will be ok and will take care of the Baby Torry for you. Tell Mom and the gang that we miss them and will see them when we get there. God bless and see you later.


seliki: (Default)
2011-03-30 08:34 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Well I have the est. on the work on my car and will soon be FREE!!! I don't care how much because I have received all my tax returns and can afford to get my girl on the road. She is a red Geo Tracker and rocks...even if she is a straight stick but that means quality time with the sibling learning how not to kill a clutch. *snirk* Can't wait and then I don't have to ask anyone for a ride.